Voldemort, who?
by KooKiGurl
Summary: Lily and James can't get back to their own tuime. What adventures will they have while trying to get back? And who the heck is Voldemort?
1. Voldemort, Who?

**Do not own etc... **

**Just a random one shot me and my best mate came up with over the phone. Hope you like it xxx**

Lily Evans wasn't the type to get into tricky situations, but getting dislodged in time with James Potter seemed to be pretty sticky to her. For the past 4 hours, she'd been trying to get the time-turner turn right, but each time it didn't work.

"Face it, Lily, it's never gonna work," James said, coolly.

"Well, what do you propose we do, Potter?"Lily huffed.

"Well, you could calm down for one,"

Lily let out a small yelp as the time-turner began to spin furiously. Everything around them went white and then they found themselves in a Hogwarts corridor.

"Ok, now we need to find out when we are," Lily said walking forward. James rolled his eyes and followed her. Eventually they came to a very short boy with a messy head of black hair and deep, piercing eyes.

"Er, hello," Lily said, nervously. The boy stared at her. James frowned.

"Not much of a talker then? What's your name?" The boy's gaze swept over him.

"I," he said, snobbishly, "am Tom Marvello Riddle,"

"Ok, tom," James said conversationally, "What year is it?"

The boy suddenly pulled his wand out. "Why are you talking to me, lowly peasant?! No-one talks to Lord Voldemort!"

James and lily looked at him blankly. "Lord volda-wah?" Lily looked at James and shrugged. Tom pointed his wand at James.

"I will put a hex on you!" He roared

"Yeah, yeah, are you sure you can reach me?" James stood at least two heads taller than Tom, as did Lily.

"Why you!" Tom shouted something and sparks flew from his wand. James tilted his head and the sparks flew right past him. "Tom, I don't think first years like you should try attacking 6th years like me,"

"First year! I am a member of staff!!!!" Tom had turned a very bright shade of red by now. James burst out laughing. Lily just looked at them both.

"But-" James laughed "you're shortest person I've ever seen. Dumbledore must have a screw lose employing you or something but I don't see how-" At this point, Tom had interrupted.

"Mark my words, you will regret ever crossing me!" and with that, he stormed off.

"Just so you know, for when you make me regret crossing you- I'm James Potter, and she's Lily Evans!" James called after him. Lily had meanwhile turned the time-turner again. It began to spin furiously and everything went white. They appeared in Gryffindor common room and saw three students sitting on the sofas in the corner. The girl, who had frizzy brown hair, was talking to the raven-haired boy.

From snatches of conversation, Lily and James could conclude that the black-haired boy was named Harry and the girl was Hermione.

"I wonder what year we're in, let's ask them," Said lily. James agreed and they started walking towards them...

**So there you go! I actually want to continue it now. Maybe one more chapter, depending on what you guys want.**


	2. An optional crappy addition

**Okies, this is a random thing i wrote, so i know it's a bit OTT and i know you'll probably hate it, but anyway...**

"And that, Harry, was why your parents died..." Sirius wiped a tear from his eye and hung his head.

"NOOOO! He killed them; all because of my father's harmless teasing?! They didn't deserve to die for that!"

"I know, Harry, I know lad."

"Then I must avenge them! Sirius, if I am to live on like this, I must know that he is dead!"

"Then go harry, go fulfil your destiny my son, and bring me a souvenir, his head perhaps..."

"Of course!" shouted harry, running out the door. "Voldemort!!!" he screamed.

Harry fought his way through hot and cold, blistering desert sands, and bitter frosty winds, to malfoy manor just down the street, where Voldemort sat on a golden throne made from poison ivy, bits of 'golden nuggets' the breakfast cereal, and the blood and sweat that KooKiGurl gave to write this fanfic. He sat, biting annoyingly on his long, unmanicured fingernails. Harry burst through the doorway and, with a click of his tongue, Voldemort tapped his finger.

"I've been expecting you, Potter..." he said, in a gloomy way that might have been adopted by Darth Vader.

"I have come to kill you!" Harry shouted and pulled out from his pocket his... sword?

All of a sudden, there was a big bang and a puff of smoke. Suddenly, a rather fetching blonde, handsome, well-built masculine, manly, broad, amazing... (o.k. I'll stop with the adjectives now) came striding out of the smoke, a scrawny raven-haired boy trailing behind him. Harry and Voldemort both sensed a powerful magic presence about the black-haired boy.

The blonde's gaze swept over harry. He stepped forward and extended his hand.

"I... am Prince Arthur of Camelot, and I believe you have my sword, Excalibur"

The other boy poked his head round. "He's not very happy with me for throwing it in the lake..."

"Oh, do shut up Merlin,"

Voldemort's eyes widened. "Merlin's beard! You're Merlin?"

Merlin self-consciously fingered his chin. "Er... yes, I am Merlin,"

At this, Voldemort reached out his wrist and pressed his finger to his forearm.

"Erm... what is he doing?" Arthur asked.

Harry waved a hand of dismissal. "Ah, he's just summoning the death-eaters, a daily occurrence when I'm around,"

"So, I take it they are sorcerers?!" Arthur said.

"Yes, of course, we are all wizards!" Harry was surprised at such a stupid question. 'Well, he is blonde' Harry thought.

Arthur stamped his foot. "Wait till my father hears if this, then we shall escort you all to Camelot where you shall be swiftly executed by burning and beheading, and then your ashes shall be –" Harry and Voldemort didn't hear the rest of his speech, they were too busy sharing sceptical looks.

"Arthur?" Merlin spoke up. "You do realise we're not in Camelot?"

"What? Merlin, where are we?!!"Arthur started running in circles and banging his head on the walls, he then ran off out of sight somewhere.

"Well, sorry about him, but do you know where we are?" Merlin enquired politely.

Harry went to answer, but the death eaters appeared and interrupted him.

"Death eaters, I'd like you to meet Merlin!" Voldemort announced. The death-eaters broke into excited chatter, like teenagers.

"Ooh, I do like his outfit; he's quite good-looking, ain't he?" Bellatrix said.

"Ain't he just, I agree Bella, he's a right little man," Narcissa agreed.

"Excuse me Cissy, you're married to me," a tall one, Lucius, added, a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

The other death eaters were rushing forward with little notepads, eager for an autograph.

"Oh, he's much better looking than anyone round here! Especially that Sirius Black!" Bellatrix cackled.

The mention of that name brought harry back to his task. He had to kill Voldemort! He charged at Voldemort with Excalibur raised high, and while the death eaters were distracted, brought it down.

"Have mercy!" Voldemort cried, as the blade hit his skin.

"No," screamed Harry, "You killed my father!"

"No, harry..." Voldemort said resentfully, "I am... you father..." he hung his head.

Harry backed away. "No, you can't be, you're lying!" But in his heart, he knew it was true. He felt his anger flare plunged the sword into the heart of the dark lord. The dark lord whimpered slightly and grabbed the front of Harry's shirt. He whispered something, but Harry could not quite hear him. He leaned closer so he could hear.

The dark lord breathed his last and his eyes closed. "Tell... Tiny Tim I won't be home for Christmas..." were his last words...

The death eaters gathered round their master, Merlin forgotten.

"NOOOO! WHAT SHALL WE DO?!!!" they all wailed in unison. Then an idea struck thej and they all drew their wands and swiftly executed one another, until only one was left. Lucius looked up at Harry.

"Harry, my boy. I hope you can forgive Draco, and be friends, maybe?" Harry could not disappoint the hopeful look in Lucius's eyes.

"Of, course, Lucius," He said, though he planned to do nothing of the sort. Lucius chanted a spell, and slowly slipped into death...

"Well, erm, Harry, I should probably get back to Arthur and Camelot, so I'll be going then... Nice meeting you though," Merlin shook Harry's hand and walked away- back to Camelot.

Harry sighed in relief. It was over. Everything was finally over. He could get on with life. He could do whatever he wanted, and not feel scared anymore! He knelt and cried. Cried for his parents, and their vengeance. He cried for his future, with Ginny. He could take Voldemort's head to Sirius. He cried at how Sirius might react. Then he proceeded to severe the head – (not nice, not nice at all...), but it was too difficult to cut through, so he took the wand instead, and presented it to Sirius. Sirius hugged him tight and cried with him. And they live together, with Ginny at Harry's side.

And they all lived happily ever after...

Although, while everyone was busy living happily ever after, Prince Arthur looked around him to find he in the middle of a strange city. There were four-wheeled monsters roaming free, and women in almost no clothes. He turned to a big banner beside him. It read 'LONDON 2009' – _oh yes, very useful, KooKiGurl, since Arthur CAN'T read! KooKiGurl: Well, for the sake of the readers, I have to put it in! _Arthur looked around himself, confused. Just what sort of place had he come to? And how was he going to get out?! He needed to fight his way out, maybe... But he didn't even have a sword...

**Aww noo! poor Arthur, all by himself in the big bad world!!! Well, hope you liked it! Reviewz??? xxxxx**


End file.
